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Through high school, college and his twenties, he was always The Guy With A Girlfriend.
He spent years enjoying pitying his single friends, and somehow, he’s now 30 and single.
If you want a case study in humanity, 30-year-old single guys have pretty much all the bases covered.
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But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started.
There was a field that needed to be played, and he broke up with his girlfriend when he was 24.
The Total Package is an athlete, a musician, and an avid traveler.
The Total Package is handsome—and you better believe he’s well-groomed.
Girls find it endearing that such an appealing guy has managed to maintain his humility, when it’s actually just that he’s assuming every girl is out of his league at all times. He likes his job, he likes his friends, and he likes being single just fine.
Once his new situation starts to sink in, he enters an unfortunate new phase, stressing his male friends out by doing things like winking at them over the shoulder of a girl he’s dancing with and offering them a fist pound when an attractive girl walks by on the street. He’s in no rush to be in a relationship and feels totally confident that at some point, he’ll meet the right girl and get married.
He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone.
His friends want to help, setting him up on dates every chance they get.
The Total Package has a hell of a career going, but don’t you for a second suggest that The Total Package would be a workaholic—The Total Package is a family man.
There’s just one thing The Total Package seems to be having a hard time finding—a girl worthy of his greatness.
And that’s just her public persona—at home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of The Total Package’s story.