I think all of the fantasizing becomes a problem because so many of us have turned to online dating when we’re already desperate for a relationship.That can quickly lead to the hopes that the next guy will be “the one.” Great post, as usual!I’ve had women tell me to chastise men to start following through more, to stop being so nice if they’re not ready for a relationship, to promise to call after having sex.

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Sex workers are getting paid for what we do – you ain’t. But seven years of being treated like a sex goddess has left an imprint on me. When someone asks me ‘what was your worst experience? I was never scared of my clients, because I was being paid to cause them much more pain than they could do to me.

But these are just a few men who have ripped my still-beating heart out from my chest, and objectified me in the most humiliating way possible.

The point is that, by getting too excited about a promising dating prospect, you’re emotionally setting yourself up for heartbreak. When you choose to be devastated by a man who is NOT your boyfriend, what you’re really doing is holding onto the loss of your fantasy.

You’re not really mourning the loss of a guy you never had.

You want to know why your heart gets broken each time a new guy disappears?

It’s not because you’re a fool for believing that good men exist. He seemed so great, so perfect, so kind, so consistent. If this story feels familiar to you, it’s because it’s familiar to EVERYONE.

It’s not because he’s an evil human being hell-bent on destroying your self-esteem. The reason your heart gets broken each time a new guy disappears is because you are SURPRISED when he disappears. Men disappearing is probably a semi-normal occurrence. And the reason it hurts so badly is simple: our expectations aren’t aligned with reality.

It’s not because you will not be able to survive without him. Then why act so shocked and devastated when outcome is so predictable? What I want to do is show you how to manage them – to protect yourself from continual heartbreak. Sandy was a 45-year-old client living in rural Wisconsin.

We don’t reach a certain number and think ‘Oof, that’s me done! My Dos and Do Nots were clear from the start, and if he asked me to do something I didn’t want to, I said no and that’s as far as it went.

When I was a sex worker, when a client came to see me, he knew I was a luxury item.

However, as you know, I can no more stop men from being men than I can stop the earth from turning.